A Peace of Jerusalem is an evolving mideast peace narrative based on ideas crowdsourced from everyday people worldwide – 2,000 words (or less!)
Latest Iteration: January 25, 2023 — 04:11 JT
m i l e s t o n e s . . .
2023 special edit: January 25, 2023
2020 edits finalised: December 1, 2020
2019 edits finalised: November 18, 2019
2018 edits finalised: December 6, 2018
2017 edits finalised: December 31, 2017
2014 text affirmed: June 7, 2015
10,000th download: March 8, 2015
2014 edits finalised: September 24, 2014
2013 edits finalised: December 30, 2013
2012 edits finalised: December 22, 2012
2011 edits finalised: May 12, 2011
Print edition: December 13, 2010
First consensus: August 7, 2010
First iteration: November 5, 2009
Initiated: October 27, 2009
Re: Status Updates
Our email system has been experiencing disruptions. Please consider sending your ideas, thoughts and suggestions through our project’s twitter account: @PaxYerushalmi
In November 2017, we started posting update notices on this page. If you hover over the version date stamp (in green, above) you’ll see notes on changes dating back to April 4, 2014. Prior to then, change notices were not made public, though the evolving document itself has been continuously and openly published since November 5, 2009.
Get News & Updates on Twitter – @PaxYerushalmi feed at right >
Sentence Restructuring
Section I, paragraph 4
Specifically…
Order of sentences altered to reflect chronological birth order of Abraham’s sons.
Section I. Land of the Covenant (para.4)
Word count unchanged.
Word Removed:
“permanent”
Context…
A permanent Canadian peacekeeping mission, reporting to the Sheriff…
Section XII. Security, Order & Defence (para.2)
New word count: 1,996
Spelling Change:
Ursalim >> Urusalim
Context…
Imagine two nations conjoined in peace, two peoples bound by blood to Holy Jerusalem (Yerushalayim haKodesh/Urusalim al-Quds), the place so revered by their common patriarch, Abraham (Avraham/Ibrahim).
Section I. Land of the Covenant (para.1)
No change to word count.
APPROVED:
New Assurance added
re: provision of Hebrew & Arabic services in both states
Each state will provide public services in both Arabic and Hebrew.
…also clipped a few words to save space
New count: 1,998 words.
APPROVED:
Qualifier Added pursuant to Sect. VIII, A Division of Estates
Added “agreed portions of” [re: the West Bank and Hebron]
Rewording and a change in count method added extra words to the text.
New count: 1,996 words.
APPROVED:
Word change
[non-inheritable to non-heritable]
Above change approved today. It doesn’t alter the meaning of the passage.
In addition to the word change, a superfluous ‘the’ was removed.
New count: 1,986 words.
APPROVED:
Restriction of Embassies from Old City
The following change has recently been suggested and was today approved…
“No international Embassy shall be located within the Old City.”
Long-standing suggestion adds 10 words to text length – new count: 1,987.
APPROVED:
Added G1 Refugee requirement to qualify for ‘return’ to proposed new Arab state
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,987
(Updated: Oct 29th – one word added: resident)
PROPOSED:
New Language on Rights of Return
The following change has recently been suggested…
“G1 Refugees not currently residing in Gaza or the West Bank, but who wish to return there, may do so if they pose no risk to public safety. Israel will continue to set its own policy for the return of its people from the diaspora. All future returnees will become resident citizens of whichever state repatriates them.”
Original text:
“Each state will set its own policy for the return of its people from the diaspora, with future returnees becoming resident citizens of whichever state repatriates them.”
Open for any and all comments.
This change would add 30 words to the length of the document, bringing the new count (if approved) to 1,977 words.
CONCISION:
LESS FILLING
NEW COUNT: 1,947
We performed a concision edit to free up more space for your great ideas.
Also reflected in the updated copy is the use of a stronger tone with regard to the undertakings required of the negotiating parties; this was mainly achieved by avoiding (except where necessary) suggestive terms could/would/should in favour of more assertive selections, like can/will/shall.
Additionally, we also removed a bit of text from Section I in which Ishmael is identified as a Jew “by patrimony and rite” – i.e. by being a son of Abraham and having been circumcised. While some Jewish and Muslim participants had no problem with this characterisation, some others found it either objectionable or at least controversial.
NAKED PEACE:
POSTPONEMENT
TERM: INDEFINITE
The looming introduction of the US proposal for peace between the Arabs and Jews of the Holy Land has resulted in our board taking a decision (on Feb. 28, 2019) to immediately and indefinitely postpone the rollout of our Naked Peace negotiation portal.
Sorry for the late posting here. Twitter is the best way to stay updated on our continuing crowdsourcing efforts [raising ideas – not money] as well as to get important breaking news on the progress of the American initiative.
Additionally, we removed a reference to Ishmael being a Jew by patrimony and rite. While this might be conceded by some Jewish and Muslim commentators, there was significant resistance to the notion from some quarters. In the end, it was decided to omit the contentious wording.
NAKED PEACE:
Revised Architecture
PDF (713 KB)
The updated architecture features two Teams (Israel & Ismail) each composed of three negotiators and up to seven advisors. All Team members may take part in Team Forum (i.e. “Back Channel”) discussions, but only the three negotiators may participate in the Open (Inter-Team) Forum, though anyone will be able to monitor the dialogue. Latest ver. 1.5c – JAN. 8, 2019.
Click to access mock-nego_1.5c.pdf
FRESH WORD COUNT:
New baseline tally finds free space
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,967
We hadn’t run a baseline word count in some time, so we were surprised when we plopped our text into the window at wordcounter.net and found that it was 20 words lighter than we had thought! Ah, breathing room.
Because there were no text edits involved, this update does not require a new time/date-stamp. The most recent iteration is still DEC. 6, 2018 — 19:33 JT.
OPERATION:
“NAKED PEACE” UNSTUCK!
WORK RESUMES ON DIGITAL PEACE DIALOGUE TOOL
MORE NEWS TO FOLLOW…
Scaled-down architecture is very similar to 2016 version, but supporting three members per team, rather than five; and with each team being responsible for its own back-channel communications. Click to view Updated Configuration (PDF~690K). Comments always welcome.
SHRUNK:
Section IV reduced by seven words
– no change in meaning
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,987
SHRUNK:
Eliminated two words in Section II
– no change in meaning
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,994
ADDED:
Explicit mention of legal Jerusalem residents with regard to peace referendum participation
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,996
APPROVED:
Reference to permanent Israeli military presence in Jordan Valley
PROPOSED:
Specific mention of Jordan Valley with regard to Israeli ‘mutual-defence force’
…and the recommended elimination of a minor qualifier
Re: Section XII – “Security, Order & Defence” (para. 3)
Suggested addition, in black…
Suggested deletion, struck in black…
Protection of Ismail against hostile infiltration, foreign attack or invasion would be undertaken by Israel in close coordination with Ismail’s security services and the peacekeeping team. This would necessitate a permanent Israeli military presence in the Jordan Valley. Ismail’s defence would also be bolstered by Jordan in the East and by Egypt in the West.
These edits, if approved, would take our word count up to 1,993.
Comments? Qs? (Enter ’em here)
DONATE YOUR BRAIN TO PEACE
OPERATION:
“NAKED PEACE” ON PAUSE
WORK ON WEB-BASED DIALOGUE TOOL SUSPENDED
HOLDING…
Meanwhile, here’s the basic Configuration (PDF~1.8MB) of the system, as proposed and adopted in 2016. Comments always welcome.
APPROVED:
Minor Changes
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,982
Minor changes (as proposed below) were performed in paragraph 2 of Section III – “Assurances”; latest iteration of live text is now: March 20, 2018 – 17:55 JT.
PROPOSED:
A Simple Fix
THAT SAVES THREE WORDS
Re: Section III – “Assurances” (2nd para.)
Current wording…
Each state would vow to serve and defend the interests of the people under its jurisdiction, regardless of religion, race, gender, creed, or citizenship.
(24 words)
[Suggested wording]…
Each state would vow to serve and defend those under its jurisdiction, irrespective of religion, race, ethnicity, gender, nationality, or creed.
(21 words)
This change, if approved, would shorten and simplify the sentence while removing an unnecessary reference to citizenship, the terms of which are addressed in another section of the text. Also saves 3 words worth of space.
SHRUNK:
By Four Words
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,985
Is it possible to make a difference in fifteen words or less?
Need a few more?
No worries. We always make room for great ideas. That’s our process.
SHRUNK:
By Two More Words
NEW WORD COUNT: 1,989
Is it even possible to make a difference in eleven words or less?
ACCEPTED:
List of Sites Added
PROPOSED:
Add a List of Key Sites
…and a big shout-out to the variously devout
Re: Section X – “The Capital Region” <— to be added after 1st para.
Suggested wording…
The city is cherished by Christians, Muslims and Jews for its myriad holy sites, including the Western Wall, Al-Aqsa Mosque, Dome of the Rock, Church of the Holy Sepulchre, Via Dolorosa, City of David, Mount of Olives, and Gethsemane.
This edit, if approved, would take our word count up to 1,991.
Any Thoughts? (Enter them here)
DONATE YOUR BRAIN TO PEACE
SHRUNK:
By Two More Words
ACCEPTED:
Edit Reduces Text Length
NEW TALLY: 1,954 wds
Ahh, finally, some breathing room…
What can be said to advance the cause of peace in 46 words or less?
PROPOSED:
An Easy Way to Create Space
45 WORDS TO BE CLIPPED?
It was suggested that para. 3 of Section V. “Representation & Taxation” be removed and that any noteworthy info be reintroduced via “green text” (areas that display additional context when moused-over) thereby reducing document length to 1,954 words, and making room for one or more new ideas to be added.
How would you improve the text?
DONE:
2017 Editing Session Ends
ONLY MINOR CHANGES PERFORMED
Only minor changes were introduced, initially to resolve an ambiguity arising from language describing a specific right available to the children of some special permanent residents. Other minor edits were performed to allow room for the correction due to the text’s word limit.
Missed the deadline? No worries. There’s always next year; i.e., tomorrow.
Have a great one!
OPPORTUNITY:
Document Open for Edits
FIRST TIME SINCE 2014
There’s still time to have your say. Editing of the text will end on Dec. 31st. We’re interested in new ideas that can be added to the existing proposal, but we welcome all suggestions on any related issue. Alternative phrasings for sensitive topics are always appreciated. Anything that enhances clarity is good.
You may have noticed that the text is very close to the 2000-word max. Not to worry; we’ve made room for great ideas before. 🙂
We endeavour to respond to all sincere emails, tweets, and form submissions.
— the eds.
ACCEPTED:
Minor Text Changes
NO NET CHANGE IN WORD COUNT
Minor text changes (as previously proposed below) were completed in Section II – “States in the Balance” and Section III – “Assurances”. These are the first word changes made to the document since September 2014. The latest iteration of the live document is now: December 21, 2017 – 05:27 JT.
PROPOSED:
Minor Text Changes
SHOULD WE UNLOCK THE DOC??
Re: Section II – “States in the Balance” (2nd last para.)
Current wording…
A child born to a special permanent resident of either state would inherit citizenship from his/her parent(s) and, upon attaining the age of legal majority, might opt instead to become a citizen of the state in which s/he was born.
[Suggested wording]…
A child born [in country] to a special permanent resident of [that] state would inherit citizenship from his/her parent(s) and, upon attaining the age of legal majority, might opt instead to become a citizen of the state in which s/he was born.
If we perform this minor text change (a clarifying edit that adds two words and replaces another) it will also require that we trim at least one word elsewhere in the text to remain at or below our 2,000 word maximum. Given this strict limit, it has been recommended that other concision edits also be considered in order to increase available space within the text, to make room for more great ideas.
On the other hand, we haven’t changed a letter in the document for over three years – and there have been only two minor, punctuation-related corrections during that time.
Update: Dec. 19, 2017 – There has been a concision edit suggested for the last paragraph of Section III – “Assurances” which would see us shave two words to make up for the extra two words introduced in adjusting Section II.
OPERATION:
“NAKED PEACE”
PEACE ENGINE ROLLOUT DELAYED UNTIL 2018
In the meantime, a question…
Why does this process differ from all other peace processes?
Well, this one began with a 5-year crowdsourcing effort to solicit, collect, distill, and integrate intriguing ideas contributed by concerned people everywhere, no matter their background or experience. We didn’t want a bunch of experts and politicians to overwhelm the common sense which we contend runs deeper than is appreciated in the general population. So, in our pending negotiation phase, we will once again take a contrarian approach.
Rather than have negotiators retreat into secrecy to discuss / argue / negotiate the core issues of mideast peace, we advocate doing it out in the open, in a public forum, where anyone can read what’s being discussed – and even carry on side discussions with other observers.
We aim to provide such an open forum, as well as secure back channels so that team members may communicate securely and effectively between themselves – and with a roster of up to 20 advisors. Back channel communications would be automatically released into the public domain after 5 years. Participants will be able to set their own desired level of privacy.
One of the toughest tasks when entering into negotiations is finding a viable starting point. We eliminate this obstacle by offering various well-known source texts that can serve as jumping-off points for dialogue.
SOURCE TEXTS:
2002 Arab Peace Initiative, re-endorsed 2007 and 2017 (518 wds);
A Peace of Jerusalem, our crowdsourced peace narrative (1,982 wds);
The Geneva Accord, Geneva Initiative summary (685 wds); and
JOCI Lite* (Review: Jerusalem Old City Initiative Discussion Document)
*Lite version (2000 words max) available early 2018.
Two Basic Rules: 1) Any change to a selected Source Text must be agreed by both teams; 2) New ideas acceptable to both sides may simply be added to the document, provided that this introduces no logical inconsistencies to the text.
Anyone could create or join an ad hoc negotiating team; and where such teams are local to the conflict, this would allow those most at risk to personally engage in the conversation.
All comments on the proposed FORMAT are welcome. (PDF~1.8MB)
Get involved
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